Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Holy sore nipples Batman
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
