they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
