Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
