youre lurking in front of me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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