Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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