Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize