I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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