The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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