I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
