Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
