alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Randomize
