the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.