so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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