I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
