I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
