; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
