all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
