Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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