She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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