You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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