I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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