Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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