apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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