I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
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We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
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Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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