at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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