come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
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You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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