i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
