Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
