My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
