maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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