she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
