I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
