you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
