I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
