Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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