I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
