You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
