well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize