Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize