you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
