We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
