Kiss
Puke
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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