u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
