Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
