And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
