I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You took a bar mat shot.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
