took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
