saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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