Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
