Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
