At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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