Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
