think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize