She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
