just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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