Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
