good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
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Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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