I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
