so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
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"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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