I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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