It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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